Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Football is truly bollocks

I challenge anyone to find something as utterly shit as football.
And it's not just the dullness of the game itself.
Does any human activity other than politics, have such over-paid prima donna's masquerading as useful members of society.
What sport has fans so willing to be ripped off in such obvious ways.
But most terribly crap of all are those marketing and media people who bombard us with patronising adverts that assume all men are equally obsessed with such a banal waste of time.
How can an activity that involves such little risk of injury or death be so highly regarded.
I'm really worried about future generations of men developing into effete morons who fall over in the street at the slightest provocation.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Hermit

There is a problem with being a blogger.
Having a page of thoughts to send out into the world is an exciting and compelling idea.
But you soon realise that everyday life is fairly mundane and there isn't a lot to be said that anyone else will find remotely interesting.
The obvious solution might be to use instances from ones own life to enlighten and entertain.
For example, yesterday I visited John who is selling the house he built himself to buy two properties in Italy and a Porsche.
We wandered off into the Peak District to find a long lost hermits cave. We wandered around dodging gamekeepers and farmers, trespassing on any bit of land that seemed to have any likely looking rocky bits.
I then had to save John's life when he climbed up a cliff and got stuck at the top.
We eventually found the cave with it's three carved crucifix and sat in reverent contemplation.
Why would anyone want to know about all that?

Thursday, March 30, 2006

lorry drivers
why are they such tits?
not all of them obviously
but why do they try and overtake, uphill on dual carriageways?
why do they always want to pull out just as you are starting to overtake?
fuckers
banish them from the roads
deliver everything by helicopter

Piss and Wind

So we begin.
We all need to have a rant every now and then.
And that's what we are going to do.
Today I am going to mention the fact that winter lasts for such a horribly long time.
Why?
To make us all pale and pasty, to drag us down to hitherto unknown states of dispair, to deprive us of the glorious life giving power of the sun.
No wonder we all used to worship that lovely big sphere.
Oh well spring is here.
Or so they say.
I have seen very little evidence of it myself but hope is truly perennial.